Vienna Prostitution Scandal Involving Professor Wally Chesnut Travels To UMASS-Amherst

Within two weeks after returning home from the two week, Spring 1971, Edward Tarr European Trumpet History Tour, the highly regarded UMASS-Amherst trumpet instructor, Professor Walter Chesnut (“Wally”) was stunned to find out that the specter of a “BUDDING SEX SCANDEL” that Professor Chesnut thought was put to rest before he departed from Vienna had actually followed Professor Chesnut back to the United States.

The scandal revolved around a cruel, “FALSE ACCUSATION” accusation that Professor Chesnut had a

two day illicit liaison with a beautiful prostitute named “Gwendel” that Professor Chesnut met at a Vienna Hotel Brothel that Professor Chesnut actually stayed in during a two night visit to Vienna.

Before jumping to conclusions that would impugn the memory of the late and beloved Professor Walter “Wally Baby” Chesnut, it is paramount that the reader of this essay carefully review all of the circumstances surrounding this VICIOUS AND UNFOUNDED ALLEGATION and carefully review Trumpet History Tour Hotel Brothel In Vienna in it’s entirety.

It is the goal of Professor “Wally” Chesnut’s student, Bob

Amato WHO IS WELL KNOWN THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE WORLD FOR HIS OWN UNIMPEACHABLE CHARACTER, and who accompanied Professor Chesnut on the Vienna Brothel Tour to set “THE RECORD STRAIGHT” and record for posterity how this sordid matter migrated to the United States onto the campus of UMASS-Amherst.

The Cause Of The Vienna Prostitution Scandal That Followed Professor Wally Chesnut To UMASS – Amherst

Several days after Bob returned to UMASS-Amherst from

the Edward Tarr European Trumpet History Tour where Bob accompanied his trumpet teacher, Professor Walter Chesnut, Bob had a scheduled “Applied Double Reed” group student class that was taught by the distinguished UMASS music faculty member, the virtuoso Oboe Player, and music historian,  Dr. Charles David “Chick” Lehrer”.

(Bob was a ‘dual music major’ who was seeking to earn a BA in Trumpet Performance as well as a BA in Music Education”. The one and possibly two semester, twice per week “Applied Double Reed” educational teaching class provided rudimentary teaching skills on how to teach youngsters to play ‘double reed’ wind instruments –  Oboe, English horn, and Bassoon”.)

Dr. “Chick” Lehrer’s performance skills on Oboe were proven when he made his Carnegie Recital Hall debut in New York in 1980. Dr. “Chick” Lehrer was also a brilliant music historian (musicologist).

And, in the late 1960’s,  Dr. “Chick” Lehrer was particularly knowledgeable about all things related to the performance practices of all forms of music composed during the Baroque Era and chamber music in general.

Shortly after this specific “group music education major” class was convened, Dr. “Chick” Lehrer dismissed all the members of the class except for Bob.

Although by no means on a first name ‘friendly’ basis, Bob and Dr. “Chick” Lehrer had a cordial relationship.  This was due to Bob’s great interest in the performance of music that was composed during the Baroque Era.  Dr. “Chick” Lehrer attended most, if not all of Bob’s frequent student recital performance during his five year undergraduate career at UMASS-Amherst that ended in 1972 and always sat next to or very near Bob’s trumpet teacher, Professor Walter “Wally” Chesnut.

After the “Applied Double Reed” group student class mentioned above was cancelled, Dr. “Chick” Lehrer ‘grilled’ Bob for almost an hour about ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING connected with the Edward Tarr European Trumpet History Tour that Professor Walter “Wally” Chesnut and Bob recently completed.

Bob asked Dr. “Chick” Lehrer if he spoke to Professor “Wally” and if he had already asked Professor “Wally” about the trip.  Dr. “Chick” Lehrer said he had spoke to Professor “Wally” but, he wanted to get ‘Bob’s impressions of the tour’ directly from Bob as well.

Sadly, ‘Bob’s impressions of the tour’ included an accounting of the circumstances described in the article, Trumpet History Tour Hotel Brothel In Vienna.

As the naive Bob provided Dr. “Chick” Lehrer with an accounting of the circumstances surrounding the Trumpet History Tour Hotel Brothel In Vienna, Dr. “Chick” Lehrer broke out into hysterical laughter and his eye’s and facial appearance began to take on the appearance of an underfed shark homing in on an ‘easy meal’.

When Bob left this meeting with Dr. “Chick” Lehrer, Bob knew that he made a terrible blunder, and that blunder would cause his mentor, Professor Walter “Wally” Chesnut enormous distress.

Dr. “Chick” Lehrer was quite affable, had an over developed, sometimes acerbic sense of humor, a well known prankster, and frequently wore a disarming ‘sly grin’ on his face which provided him a

rather youthful appearance even as he aged over the years.  Dr. “Chick” Lehrer frequent ‘sly looking’ facial expressions reminded one of a young school boy prankster who would put a garden snake in the lunch box of the prettiest girl in his class.

Dr. “Chick” Lehrer’s personality and ubiquitous. sly smile, made him reminiscent of a very famous and hilarious American and British newspaper cartoon character named “Dennis the Menace”.

The “Dennis the Menace” cartoon character was

further developed by a very entertaining American situation comedy TV show of the same name that ran from 1959-1963. This TV show popularity was ensured because it was scheduled to immediately precede, “The Ed Sullivan Show” on Sunday evenings.

The ever mischievous Dennis “The Menace” Mitchell made the life of a middle aged neighbor,

George Wilson miserable with Dennis’s overactive energy and inadvertent trouble making. “Chick the Menace” would have been an appropriate ‘moniker’ to associate to Dr. Charles David “Chick” Lehrer during the period he was a member of the UMASS-Amherst music faculty.

Dr. “Chick” Lehrer would also have been well cast

as a villain in a James Bond movie. Dr. “Chick” Lehrer bore an uncanny resemblance to famous Hollywood Actor, Louis Jourdon.

As far as wardrobe choices were concerned, Dr.

“Chick” Lehrer was never a model for ‘sartorial splendor’. Between, 1967 and 1972, his wardrobe consisted of one color and one color only which was ‘BLACK’. The black clothing and shoes matched his jet black shiny hair and black, well polished shoes.

At this time, “Chick” Lehrer always wore a black suit (probably the same one daily), white shirt (probably changed on a daily basis), and a dark colored tie (probably the  same one daily).

Dr. “Chick” also had jet black hair that he wore slicked down and secured by a liberal quantity  of “Pomade” that he was rumored to have formulated to his own unique needs.

To further enhance Dr. “Chick’s” already dark, flamboyant appearance was his eyeglasses which were framed by heavy black horned rims at all times.

Dr. “Chick” Lehrer was always perfectly groomed at all times. His appearance and public persona fit the bill to represent the quintessential evil genius villain, of countless works of literary fiction and vast numbers of Hollywood Film’s.

In spite of Dr. “Chick” Lehrer’s proclivity to stage a sometimes less than well thought through ‘practical joke’ on others, Dr. “Chick” Lehrer was a highly regarded and respected member of the UMASS-Amherst music faculty.  Besides being a wonderfully engaging music historian and exceptional performer on both Oboe and English Horn, Dr. “Chick” Lehrer was also a devoted music educator. Dr. “Chick” Lehrer developed the “The New Barret Oboe Method” as well as other well received pedagogical methods.

The Relationship Between Dr. Charles David “Chick” Lehrer and Professor Walter “Wally” Chesnut

Dr. “Chick” Lehrer maintained a very cordial relationship with Professor Walter “Wally”

Chesnut that unfortunately would soon be tested.

Dr. “Chick” Lehrer and Professor “Wally” Chesnut both earned advanced degree’s in music from the Music Department at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor in the same time frame.

They both also had great personal and professional interest in the music literature that was developed in the Baroque Era in particular. And, they both very capably performed together as soloists from time to time at faculty recitals that featured music composed during the Baroque Era. Performances of the Antonio Vivaldi  Concerto for Trumpet, Oboe, and Strings, the Johann Wilhelm Hertel  Concerto in E-flat major for Trumpet and Oboe, and Orchestra, and the contemporary, Alan Hovhaness  Prayer of St. Gregory for Trumpet, English Horn, and Strings come to mind.

Both Dr. “Chick” Lehrer and Professor “Wally” Chesnut would be seen rather frequently together walking ‘briskly’ around campus when they were scheduled to be present somewhere together.  The stature and appearance of both men walking together was rather comical and would inevitably cause those passing by them to smile in amusement.

Professor “Wally” Chesnut had a unique characteristic. Professor “Wally” unfortunately

suffered from ‘Morbid Obesity’ that was caused by a medical condition that was all but impossible to control in 1971. Professor “Wally” was at least six feet tall and his weight fluctuated wildly between at least 300 to 400 Lbs and quite possibly more. In 1970, Professor “Wally” almost always wore a variety of suits, white shirts, and ties that never fit him quite right due to constant weight variations. Professor “Wally’s” wardrobe gave him a rather ‘rumpled but sheikh look’. In spite of his over size appearance, Professor “Wally” moved surprisingly well and walked with a brisk gate at all times.

Also, at a time when men were wearing long hair, side burns, beards and, or mustaches, Professor “Wally” was always clean shaven, wore no sideburns, and wore his hair in a short, ‘brush/crew cut’ style reminiscent of an Army Drill Sergeant.  Wally was the quintessential, STRAIGHT LOOKING ARROW whose appearance was that of a by gone era.

Both men had an excellent sense of humor and would typically exchange humorous banter that would cause both men to smile and laugh frequently when walking together around the UMASS-Amherst campus.

HOWEVER, it should be noted that Professor “Wally’s” sense of humor could change abruptly and take a dark turn if the subject of a humorous story would be himself.

Dr. “Chick” Lehrer’s stature was by no means diminutive, but, he was noticeably shorter than Professor “Wally” Chesnut. And, Dr. “Chick” Lehrer was always meticulously groomed, and physically trim and slim.  Dr. “Chick” Lehrer’s well fitted, always black ward robe accentuated his trim, slim, and very physically fit appearance.

Stature wise, Professor “Wally” Chesnut was at least three times larger than Dr. “Chick” Lehrer.  The contrast between these two friends walking together around the UMASS-Amherst campus together would cause heads to turn. The smiles and laughter that both men shared when they were together was infectious and added to the comedic aura that both men would generate when they were seen together.

When together, Dr. “Chick” Lehrer and Professor “Wally” Chesnut joint appearance was quite reminiscent of the famous comedic duo, “Laurel and Hardy”.

A few days after Bob’s meeting with Dr. “Chick” Lehrer where Bob discussed ‘his version’ of the Edward Tarr European Trumpet History Tour that ignited prankster, Dr. “Chick” Lehrer’s predatory instincts, Bob
had a routine scheduled approximate one hour trumpet lesson scheduled with Professor Walter “Wally” Chesnut.

The moment that Bob walked into Professor Wally’s teaching studio, Wally had a facial appearance that was reminiscent of his facial appearance that was described in the essay, Trumpet History Tour Hotel Brothel In Vienna.

Bob instantly knew what was going to begin happening next.

Professor “Wally” said to Bob in a loud voice, “AMATO, YOU REALLY DID IT TO ME THIS TIME! YOU ARE REALLY CAUSING ME TO WIG OUT!”

At this juncture, Professor “Wally” Chesnut handed to Bob an envelope that was opened already that was hand addressed to Professor “Wally”. The return address indicated that the envelope
was mailed by Dr. “Chick” Lehrer. Bob instantly knew that Bob’s ‘nightmare visions’ of what Dr. “Chick” Lehrer was going to do to Professor “Wally” had already begun to dramatically unfold.

Professor “Wally” handed the envelope to Bob and shouted “OPEN THE ENVELOPE AND READ THE LETTER”.

Before removing the hand written letter from the envelope, Bob noted that the envelope also contained an unopened, foil wrapped condom. Bob immediately tried to not break out in a grin which sadly proved to be impossible for Bob to achieve at this unfortunate time and place.

The hand written letter that Dr. “Chick” Lehrer mailed to Professor “Wally” went like this:
Dear Wally:
             It has been recently brought to my attention that during the course of the Edward Tarr European Trumpet History Tour that you met a beautiful young blonde woman named “Gwendel” at a Whorehouse Hotel in Vienna that you stayed at for two nights. It is my understanding as well that you spent two nights in the loving arms of this lovely young woman. And, it is my further understanding that she expressed her undying love for you and “Gwendel” became completely devastated, and later attempted to commit suicide when you refused to abandon your UMASS career, leave your  long suffering wife, and marry “Gwendel” in Vienna where she expected the both of you to live happily ever after.

It is unfortunate that I had to obtain this information from a reliable source which I will not disclose. And, I am very distressed that you did not speak to me directly of this matter when you personally discussed your accounting of the Edward Tarr European Trumpet History Tour with me personally two weeks ago.

I believe the behavior of a person of your stature and reputation is unconscionable and should be reported to both your wife, the entire UMASS Music Faculty, the UMASS Administrative Leadership as well as the entire UMASS Student Body, the Publishers of both the Boston Globe and Boston Herald, as well as the head of the Massachusetts State Police Department, Amherst Police Department, as well as Massachusetts Governor, Francis Sargent.

However, I know this action which I am fully prepared to proceed with will cause you immeasurable difficulties.

With that in mind, I will ‘CONSIDER NOT TO

DISCLOSE TO ANYONE’ this matter if you provide to me $5000.00 in cash. $100.00 Dollar bills that are ‘UNMARKED WITH NON-SEQUENTIAL SERIAL NUMBERS’ that you will hand deliver to me at my office, promptly at 8 AM next Monday morning.  

Your Friend,
Chick Lehrer

P.S. Note: Please consider this sum to only represent a down payment to ensure my silence.

After reading the ‘Practical Jokester” blackmail letter that Dr. “Chick” Lehrer had mailed to Professor “Wally” Chesnut, Bob broke out in hysterical

laughter.

Needless to say, Bob’s laughter caused Professor Walter “Wally” Chesnut to ‘BLOW HIS STACK’ and ‘REALLY WIG OUT’!

Wally’s facial expression devolved into a frightful, beet red, watermelon impression, and his whole larger than life body began shaking. Professor “Wally” began yelling loudly at Bob and asked Bob how he could be “SO STUPID” to share this unfortunate and slanderous, unfounded rumor with the likes of someone like “Chick” Lehrer. Bob responded by saying: “BECAUSE HE ASKED!”. Professor “Wally” then shouted at Bob,  “DAMN YOU AMATO!”. (This was the only time over a five year period than began in 1967 that Bob ever heard Professor “Wally” utilize any word that would be considered to be remotely ‘vulgar’). Professor “Wally” even picked up one of his trumpets and began waving it wildly at Bob to the point that Bob thought that Wally would begin to ‘throttle’ Bob with the trumpet.

This day had suddenly turned into as much fun as being circumcised with hedge clippers.

The normally affable Professor “Wally” Chesnut was quickly evolving into a fire eating dragon named Drumblezorn!.

Bob acknowledged to Wally that Bob knew that he was

“BORN STUPID” and also told Wally that Bob was certain he was cursed would remain “ETERNALLY STUPID THROUGH THE REST OF BOB’S LIFE”. Bob apologized over and over for being “I AM SO SORRY I WAS BORN SO STUPID AND MY SKULL’S NOT TOALLY FULL OF BRAINS YET!” 

Bob’s performance at this juncture was reminiscent of the ‘John Belushi’ scene from the 1980 Blues Brothers Movie where Belushi playing character, “Jake Blues”

began begging forgiveness from the heavily armed ‘Carrie Fisher’ who Belushi had dumped while Fisher had waited patiently at the marriage alter.

Bye and bye, Professor “Wally” calmed down a bit.  Professor “Wally” cancelled Bob’s scheduled trumpet lesson and directed Bob to immediately walk over to Dr. “Chick” Lehrer’s teaching studio office, interrupt Dr. Lehrer’s teaching schedule, and tell Dr. Lehrer (in private) how angry Wally was with the mailed “Blackmail Letter” stunt that Dr. Lehrer had inflicted upon Professor “Wally’s” shoulders and that Wally was demanding that that Dr. Lehrer call Wally immediately and apologize and also explain to Wally how Dr. Lehrer was going to prevent the further spread of the slanderous rumor that Wally was convinced was going to destroy both Professor Wally’s musical career as well as his marriage.

Bob did what he was told and interrupted Dr. “Chick” Lehrer’s scheduled student Oboe teaching lesson. With Dr. “Chick” Lehrer’s student present, Bob initially told Dr. Lehrer that Bob was there to report to Dr. Lehrer that there was an emergency matter that concerned his supposed friend and colleague, Professor “Wally” Chesnut.

Initially, thinking that Wally had suffered a medical emergency, Dr. “Chick” Lehrer turned pale and looked stunned.  Dr. “Chick” Lehrer then cancelled the student oboe lesson and directed the student to leave the room.

Dr. “Chick” Lehrer asked Bob if Professor “Wally” had suffered a ‘heart attack’ and had died.   Dr. Lehrer was immediately relieved when Bob told him that this was not a medical emergency, but was an emergency of a more personal nature that directly involved Dr. “Chick” Lehrer. Bob told Dr. “Chick” Lehrer that if Dr. “Chick” Lehrer did not intervene in a matter that concerned Professor Wally that Professor Wally would indeed die of a heart attack.

Bob told Dr.”Chick” Lehrer that “Wally” just showed to Bob the ‘Blackmail’ letter that contained the condom and that Wally was furious at both Bob as well as Dr. “Chick” Lehrer in particular for propagating the unfounded and scandalous rumor.

Dr. “Chick” Lehrer let whoops of triumphant laughter. Dr.”Chick” Lehrer began pumping his fists into the air and ‘high stepping’ around his office teaching studio like a pro football defensive back who intercepted a pass from the opposing quarter back at the one yard line in the closing 12 seconds of a Super Bowl football game and ran it back for a ‘pick six’ touch down that won the big game for the defensive backs team.

This vigorous physical outburst was repeatedly interrupted with loud laughter and repeated yelling of “I KNEW THIS WOULD WORK!” that would be interspersed with the words – “FUN, FUN, FUN!” as well as “THE BEGINNING HAS JUST BEGUN!”….According to Bob this spectacle of ‘unhinged’ behavior continued for at least 60 seconds in Dr. “Chick” Lehrer’s teaching studio office.

Dr.”Chick” Lehrer thanked Bob profusely for sharing the ‘Gwendal’ Vienna whorehouse incident with Dr. “Chick”…and that the reaction of Wally’s reaction to Dr.”Chick” Lehrer’s sick and extremely unfortunate prank was “INDEED, THIS IS WONDERFUL NEWS”!

After Dr.”Chick” Lehrer’s gleeful outburst had ended, Bob asked Dr.”Chick” Lehrer if Dr.”Chick” Lehrer was going to call Professor “Wally” and apologize.  Dr.”Chick” Lehrer said he would do so immediately and Dr.”Chick” Lehrer wanted Bob to stay and listen to the phone call.

Furthermore, Dr.”Chick” Lehrer also told Bob that he would insist that Professor “Wally” Chesnut personally deliver the letter including condom to the Office of Dr. Philip

Bezanson who was the Head of the UMASS-Amherst Music Department in 1971.  (The state of the art, UMASS Amherst, Music and Dance Center.  The Music and Dance Center houses the 200-seat Bezanson Recital Hall which was named to commemorate the memory of Dr. Bezanson whose tireless leadership develop the UMASS music and dance programs to the stature of which these programs enjoy today. The Music and Dance Center construction was completed well after Bob had completed his studies at UMASS, Amherst.)

Before Bob left Dr.”Chick” Lehrer’s teaching studio office, Dr. “Chick” told Bob that he wanted Bob to personally reiterate to Professor “Wally” to hand deliver the ‘EVIDENCE’ to Dr. Bezanson’s office with the understanding that the ‘EVIDENCE’ would be presented to all of the UMASS Music Department Faculty at the next upcoming Music Department meeting which was already scheduled in the near future.

Dr.”Chick” Lehrer told Bob to personally tell Professor “Wally” that Dr. “Chick” would make a formal apology to Wally in front of all of the Music Faculty at the scheduled faculty meeting.  Also, Dr.”Chick” Lehrer also directed Bob to tell Professor Walter “Wally” Chesnut that Dr. “Chick” Lehrer would be willing to accept any disciplinary sanctions that Dr. Bezanson would feel would be appropriate to administer upon Dr. “Chick” Lehrer.

By the time that Bob returned to Professor Walter “Wally” Chesnut’s studio teaching office to personally deliver the message that Dr. “Chick” Lehrer directed Bob to deliver to Professor “Wally”,  Professor “Wally” had begun another trumpet student teaching lesson.

Bob knocked on the door, and wouldn’t you know the trumpet student was the very attractive and equally alluring, Sylvia Gaviglio (from Springfield, Massachusetts) who bore an uncanny resemblance, but more buxom version

of Hollywood actress Monica Bellucci. Sylvia was a non-music education major, but an excellent trumpet player who was in the same class as Bob.  (Her Father, Constantine owned a large construction company in

Springfield.  It was rumored that Constantine was closely

connected to the the Boston, Patriarca Crime Family, and Mob Boss, Raymond Patriarca in particular who Constantine also resembled.  Constantine was also an excellent Baritone Horn player who fathered six children of which five were boys.  All six children were all trained by Constantine to be outstanding brass players and the entire family performed actively with both Springfield Knights of Columbus and Springfield Municipal Bands.) Furthermore, since at least 1970, and possibly as early as 1969, the lovely Sylvia sat 1st cornet, 2nd chair to the right of Bob three times a week at Symphony Band rehearsals under the direction of Professor John Jenkins.  The 1st cornet, 3rd chair cornet that sat to the right of Sylvia was another non-music major trumpet player, the very talented, but ‘hedonistic’, John Perko.  John Perko occasionally annoyed the long suffering Sylvia in tandem with Cornet Section Leader, Bob Amato.

The comely, Sylvia tended to be somewhat shy, embarrassed easily which caused her to ‘blush’ to a

noticeable degree.  However, Sylvia could have rare fiery temperamental outbursts when sufficiently provoked.  Bob’s frequent ‘risque’ comments, routine hazing, and practical jokes that Sylvia suffered through that on occasion disrupted Symphony Band rehearsal caused Band Director, Professor Jenkins to threaten Bob with UMASS administrative ‘disciplinary action’ on multiple occasions in addition to throwing Bob out of rehearsals because Bob did not seize and desist tormenting poor dear Sylvia.

Professor “Wally”, not knowing that Bob was knocking on his door, said “Come In!”

When Professor “Wally” saw Bob walk into his studio he shouted “I AM SO SICK OF YOU AMATO – YOU ARE SO STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW?”.

The trumpet student, Sylvia was stunned and her eye’s nearly ‘popped out’ after hearing Professor “Wally” verbally lash out at the now very weary, and downtrodden, Bob.

Bob told Professor “Wally” that Dr. “Chick” Lehrer had directed Bob to personally deliver a Dr. “Chick” ‘private and personal’ message to Professor “Wally” that is referenced above.

Bob and Professor “Wally” stepped outside of Professor “Wally” teaching studio office and Wally closed the door.  And, Bob quickly learned that trumpet student Sylvia had her ear pressed to the side of the door in an attempt to gather ‘DIRT’ she could spread on her nemesis, Bob.

Bob delivered the Dr. “Chick” Lehrer’s message to Professor “Wally”.  Professor “Wally” confirmed that Dr. “Chick” did indeed call Professor “Wally” and Professor “Wally” confirmed to Bob that Professor “Wally”  was going to hand deliverer the ‘EVIDENCE’ to
Dr. Bezanson that same day.

At the conclusion of this exchange, Professor “Wally” told Bob to never mention the name of the ‘Despicable Gwendel’ to anyone ever again.

Later that same day, Bob had a 4:30 PM Symphony Band rehearsal where he encountered Sylvia once again.  After the rehearsal ended at 6 PM, Bob and Sylvia had a verbal exchange in the old Chapel band rehearsal room that went as follows:

Sylvia asks Bob: “Who is Gwendel”? Why is Professor “Wally” so mad at you?
Bob to Sylvia: “You don’t want to know!”
Sylvia to Bob: “Yes, I  do want to know.  Tell me now!”
Bob to Sylvia: “No, I can’t tell you.  I am in enough trouble now.”
Sylvia to Bob: “You’re always in trouble about something so tell me right now!”
Bob to Sylvia: “I can’t!”
Sylvia to Bob: “You better tell me right now!”
Bob to Sylvia: “OK – Gwendel is a young woman I encountered in Vienna at the hotel I stayed at with Professor Wally”
Sylvia to Bob: “I bet you molested an underage girl didn’t you? Admit it! I am sick of you embarrassing me at band practice all the time.  I’m going to tell everyone that you molested an underage girl in Europe! “

Bob to Sylvia: “Why would you say something like that?”
Sylvia to Bob: “Because I know you!”
Bob to Sylvia: “You do not know me at all.  And, you are the molester. You molested me last year.  You were not a minor and I am six months younger than you. Don’t remember do you?”
Sylvia to Bob: “Your a liar!”.
Bob to Sylvia: “No – you are! Your ‘Goody-Two-Shoes’ act is phony.  You’re nothing but a stoned out pot head alcoholic lush who has been in love with me the moment you met me.  I HAVE PICTURES!”
Sylvia to Bob: “Your a big lier and I’m not afraid of you.  For once, I am going to make your life as miserable as you make mine!”
Bob to Sylvia: “If you start spreading malicious lies about my behavior around the band room, I am going to mail pictures of the two of us to that fat ape, ‘GOOMBA’ boy friend of yours, ‘Guido’ who lives over at the sports Frat house who you hang around with who you told me wants to marry you.  Guido “LIKES TO BE WITH BOYS”.  Your so hard up that you have to date a big ape that likes boys.  I am doing you a favor to mail him pictures of us together.  He’ll dump you in a heart beat!
Sylvia to Bob: “Tell me about it!”
Bob to Sylvia: “Remember the Spring Concert last year where I met you and three of your girl friends?”
Sylvia to Bob: “No! Tell me about it!”
Bob to Sylvia: “I bumped into you at the end of a Spring, Sunday afternoon

concert at the big green next to the UMASS Pond.  The concert featured the Young Rascals.  The opening act was Taj Mahal and the second act was was “Real Tears”.  The sax player was our band-mate in the Symphony Band, Timmy Moran.  I was hanging out with Professor Wally’s graduate teaching assistant, Jerry Mirliani. (Jerry was Professor Wally’s Chestnut post-graduate trumpet teaching assistant.) I also introduced you to Real Tears keyboard player, Kit Walker, and the band’s lead singer and guitar player, Jimmy Bridges.
Sylvia to Bob: Now I remember!  Jimmy was the black guy with the big-Afro haircut who was a good looking version of Jimmy Hendricks.  He was very impressive on stage.
Bob to Sylvia: Glad you remembered.  That was Jimmy! And, “Real Tears” band members were hanging around to listen to the main act, the Young Rascals. At the end of the concert, your girlfriends, Mirliani, and I were invited to drive over to Jimmy Bridges house in Amherst and hang out’. Your girlfriends said they had to go back to your dormitory to Study.  But, you went to Bridges House with Mirliani and me.  You held my hand on the drive over to Bridges house remember?  Jimmy Bridges girlfriend drove, and her sister was with us as well.  And, you ended up smoking pot that Kit Walker gave to you and you got really stoned. Then you couldn’t keep your hands off of me.  Remember that?”
Sylvia to Bob: “You’re a lier! I never smoke Pot nor laid a hand on you!”
Bob to Sylvia: “No, You’re the lier! I am the one that never smoked Pot.  I only drank some beer.  You were drinking beer and smoking Pot!”  I have pictures to prove it?
Sylvia to Bob: “What pictures?”
Bob to Sylvia: “The pictures that Jerry Mirliani took of both of us at the party with you crawling all over me.  You know Mirliani likes to always carry around a camera!”

Sylvia to Bob: “Mirliani is a hideous, low life sicko pervert! 
Bob to Sylvia: “That’s true.  I’m glad there is something we can agree on!”
Sylvia to Bob: “Why does Mirliani always dress in black and wear sunglasses even at night? What’s with that goofy, scraggly looking fu manchu mustache?  He’s a fright! And, what’s with that scary hair? When is he going to go to a dentist and get that goofy looking gap in his front teeth fixed? Why do you hang around a creep like him?”
Bob to Sylvia: “Mirliani tells me that all the girls love his fashion choices and sense of style!  His appearance, demeanor, and sartorial sensibilities always inspire me to be a better person!  And, Jerry insists that his dental short comings enable him to play the trumpet with great power and finesse in the upper register.“
Sylvia to Bob: “Mirliani plays too loud and misses too many notes and is a real pervert and I know you are as well!  You both disgust me!”
Bob to Sylvia: “Sylvia, please stop flattering me!  Do you remember what you did to me after we left Jimmy Bridges House?”
Sylvia to Bob: “No, tell me about it?”
Bob to Sylvia: “You were pretty stoned!”
Sylvia to Bob: “Liar!”
Bob to Sylvia: “Quit interrupting me!”
Sylvia to Bob: “I am sick of listening to your lies!”
Bob to Sylvia: “I’m not lying!”
Sylvia to Bob: “Liar!”
Bob to Sylvia: “Quit interrupting me! You were getting tired at the party, and said you needed to get back to your dorm. 

 Jimmy Bridges girlfriend (who also sang with Real Tears) younger sister also lived at a dorm near yours and Jimmy’s sister said she would drive you, Jerry, her sister and me back to your dorm.  Jerry walked with the two of us with you having your arms around me back to your dorm room.  When the three of us got to your room, you said you were feeling a bit ‘tipsy’ and you asked me to say with you for awhile.  I agreed to stay and Jerry went on his way and left alone. I asked where your roommate was and you said she went home for the weekend to visit her boyfriend.”
Bob to Sylvia: “Liar!”
Sylvia to Bob: “Quit interrupting me!”
Bob to Sylvia: “Not long after Jerry left, you started kissing me. In fact, you were mauling me to the point I told you I couldn’t breathe because your over developed chest muscles were crushing me.
Sylvia to Bob: “Liar!”
Bob to Sylvia: “Let me finish.  You got really mad when I told you that your leg pressure was cracking my ribs and I started laughing and you slapped me and told me to leave.”
Sylvia to Bob: “You are really a disgusting sicko liar!”
Bob to Sylvia: “Guess what?  Mirliani never left.  When he closed your door to the hallway, he slipped a piece of plastic to block the latch from locking.  He opened the door and snuck back in and hid in your closet after you started molesting me.  HE TOOK PICTURES OF US TOGETHER!  I didn’t find out until he told me a couple of days later.  Mirliani also had a battery operated cassette player and he taped you telling me how much you loved me while nearly cracking my ribs.

Sylvia to Bob:“You are so totally disgusting I can’t stand it anymore. You really are a low life rat! “
Bob to Sylvia: “WAIT – THERE’S MORE! Mirliani has pictures proving your boyfriend, Guido loves to be with boys”.
Sylvia to Bob: “You both are complete pigs! I detest both of you! I hate you! I hate you!”

About two weeks after Bob delivered Dr. “Chick” Lehrer’s message to Professor, Walter “Wally” Chesnut, Bob was asked by Dr. “Chick” to stay after one of the two twice weekly ‘Applied Double Reed’ educational training classes.

Bob was told by Dr. “Chick” Lehrer, that the anticipated music faculty meeting did indeed take place.  And, to his surprise, Bob also learned that Music Department Head, Dr. Bezanson was quite aware before hand of the unfortunate gag that Dr. “Chick Lehrer” had sprung upon the unwitting, Professor “Wally” Chesnut.

Not known to Bob, at that time, Music Department Head, Dr. Bezanson was part and parcel to this unfortunate practical joke that caused Professor “Wally” Chesnut such distress.

About two weeks after the scheduled meeting, Bob was invited by “Chick” Lehrer to stop by his office studio. “Chick” told Bob that Dr. Bezanson provided all of the faculty with a copy of the the ‘prank’ letter and passed around the envelope that contained the original letter as well as the packaged condom. Dr.  “Chick” told me that the majority of the faculty members had a hardy laugh and “Chick” stood up and made his promised apology to Wally.

According to Dr. “Chick”, Wally was enraged by the laughter as well as Dr. “Chick’s” apparent half-hearted apology. Dr. “Chick” told Bob that Wally was still furious about the incident and stormed out of the faculty meeting.

Dr. “Chick” also told Bob that Dr. Bezanson left the meeting and went out of the room and spoke to Professor “Wally” privately and returned with Professor “Wally”.  Dr. Bezanson asked the remaining faculty members to not mention the “Gwendel” matter ever again to anyone.

However, over the next one to two weeks, the following UMASS faculty members told Bob that they “got a kick” or “enjoyed” the Dr. “Chick” Lehrer “Gwendel” prank that was leveled upon Professor “Wally” Chesnut.   Julian Olevsky, Julian’s Wife, Estella Olevsky, Joel Krosnick, Peter Tanner, Robert Stern, John D’Armand, Fred Tillis, and Larry Weed.  In fact, Larry Weed was the only music faculty member that actually continued to occasionally ‘tease’ Professor “Wally” about the incident.  Larry Weed, the typical, irreverent, ‘Slap Happy’ trombone player would on occasion in a loud, boisterous voice, ask Professor “Wally”, “HOW’S GWENDEL”, or “HOW’S GWENDEL TREATING YOU?”  Professor “Wally” would scowl and pretend he did not hear Larry Weed’s taunting remarks.  Fortunately, other than other Music Department Faculty Members, and Bob, no one else really knew who “Gwendel” was.

The only faculty member that DID NOT ‘get a kick’ out of the Dr. “Chick” Lehrer practical joke who spoke directly to Bob was UMASS French Horn instructor and Symphony Band Director, John Jenkins.   (With great certainty, none of the other music faculty members not mentioned in the paragraph above received any enjoyment from Dr. “Chick” stunt.)

Professor Jenkins was also a graduate of the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor Music School with advanced musical degree’s.  And, Professor Jenkins was a close friend and admirer of Professor “Wally” Chesnut as well.

Professor Jenkins already had a well established negative impression of how Bob’s own practical jokes could cause upheaval during the course of multiple years of Symphony Band rehearsal.  Professor Jenkins expressed to Bob his ‘personal disappointment’ in Bob’s decision to disclose the “Gwendel” matter to Dr. “Chick” Lehrer.  Professor Jenkins also requested that Bob to never discuss any matter that could possibly cause embarrassment to any Music Faculty Member or UMASS student that Dr. “Chick” Lehrer might want to “take advantage of”.

With regards to Dr. “Chick” Lehrer, Bob never heard Dr. “Chick”  mention the “Gwendel” matter  to Bob or anyone else ever again.